In office he has a formidable record for doing the state some service. Out of office he has done himself some service, in a way that might make one wonder whether we can mock earlier generations of politicians who enriched themselves.Until his arrival, the most serious challenger to Davis appeared to be David Cameron. But a spate of stories (planted by whom?) about his directorship of a company that owns late-night bars has implied a conflict of interest over the contentious issue of round-the-clock licensing.In Clarke's case, there is not quite a legislative conflict of interest. And yet his long-standing connection with the tobacco industry has displeased people on all sides of the party. However hard the times, should a former health secretary really be reduced to selling cigarettes to the Vietnamese? Four years ago, as a newly elected MP, Boris Johnson supported Clarke for the leadership despite differences on Europe, breezily dismissing this difficulty with the words, "Ken Clarke can go and sell tobacco to the Vietnamese. Tobacco is legally sold in this country; it is legally sold in Vietnam", as though there were a difference between the actually illegal and the merely reprehensible.Now Clarke has, in effect, conceded the point: he has let it be known that he will sever his business links, including his deputy chairmanship of British American Tobacco, if he stands for the leadership, though the implication is that he may resume them if someone else wins.In theory at least, we now have much higher standards in public life.

If there are such things as British values, they are surely tied up with an empirical, sceptical mindset that has no need for any kind of national myth at all.As George Orwell pointed out in "The Lion and the Unicorn" - quoted occasionally by those currently tying themselves in patriotic knots, though none of them seem to have understood it - we have "a horror of abstract thought .. [and] no need for any philosophy or systematic world-view". A disruptive pupil is busy spoiling his classmates' chances of academic achievement, so the teacher pulls him back into line with a curt reminder: "Have you forgotten about the British dream?" En route in his Rover saloon to a two-week holiday in Aviemore, a freshly promoted middle manager turns to his wife and whispers, "Isn't it wonderful, darling? We're living the British dream." One might imagine a suitably anthemic theme song, maybe delivered by Robbie Williams, some-where beteen "Angels" and "Jerusalem".If this seems unlikely, that's probably thanks to a set of national virtues that most of our politicians have all but forgotten. "No one here talks about the British dream," he moaned last week "We should. We need to break down the barriers that exist in too many people's lives ... that prevent or deter them from making a success of life." He went on: "We need to inculcate a sense of allegiance to the values that are the hallmark of Britain." The latter, of course, are nothing less than - oh yes! - "decency, tolerance and a sense of fair play".But let us take him at his word and think of some scenarios.

So hats off to the leader of the Conservative Party, while he's still around, for taking things into the realm of blazing ludicrousness with his recent return to proposals for a "British dream".Mr Howard's authorship of the concept doesn't exactly give it the best chance of catching on, but that has hardly dampened his enthusiasm. Once the solution has arrived, it seems, all will once again be well: inner-city jihadists will tear up their seditious leaflets, George Galloway and his ilk will stand revealed as treacherous fellow travellers, and we will all crowd on to public transport feeling newly relaxed. Contributions to the debate have recently settled - as these things usually do - into a yawn-inducing array of clich? all of which must necessarily end with a tribute to "decency, tolerance and a sense of fair play". From the outside, a rum cross-section of the Westminster elite - Gordon Brown, Norman Tebbit, David Blunkett, Michael Howard and the unavoidable Hazel "English-British" Blears - have lately seemed far more concerned with the pressing question of what it means to be British. I had to have my results faxed to me because, when they came out, I was on holiday with friends in Dorset Now I can celebrate We'll be spending a lot of time in the pub.".